Man Bans All Four of His Daughters from His Wedding After Discovering Their Plot to Sabotage His Fiancée, Destroying His Trust in Them

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 29, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

Welcome, women of the World Wide Web. We all know the number one dress rule when it comes to weddings - don't wear white! Unless the bride has a particular affinity for a different color or is part of a culture where brides traditionally wear a different color dress, it is safe to assume that she will be wearing white, and thus, our of respect for her and social norms, one should not try to upstage her. 

We've all read countless stories on the internet of women - sisters, mother-in-laws, former best friends - showing up to weddings as guests in not only white dresses, but sometimes full-on bridal costumes, in a desperate attempt to cause drama and seek attention. It is in these times we as observers wish for the schadenfreude of seeing that dress stained with wine by an errant, 'clumsy' hand. But sometimes, the wine spills on the white dress of an actual bride, not a narcissistic guest, and nor was it spilled on accident, but planned and plotted by a group of girls. Read below for the juicy deets.

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  • 01
    r/AITAH u/throw23490097 · 1d • AITAH for banning my 4 daughters from my wedding when I found out that they planned to spill red wine on my future wife's wedding dress?
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    I'm a father to 4 daughters (Olivia, age 19, Christine, age 17, Eliza, age 15, and Aria, my youngest age 12) their mom and I divorced 6 years ago. Now I'm getting married to my fiancee Daniela soon. Daniela is the sweetest woman I'd ever met. She's kind, caring, and selfless. She loves my daughters a lot but my daughters at first did not accept her and it has caused so much tension. Quite frankly, the girls at the beginning were outright aggressive toward
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  • 03
    her. They openly disliked her and fought against her in many ways, including, saying offensive things to her, and vandalizing some of her stuff. There was so much struggle and I honestly did not think there would be a solution for it. I even contemplated breaking up with Daniela because I didn't want her to get any more affected by my what my daughters were doing.
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    Suddenly, things had shifted and my daughters had a change of heart. They made a collective decision to mend their relationship with Daniela and they became really nice and respectful toward her. It was strange, let me tell you, especially when my youngest daughter, Aria started clinging unto Daniela and spending most of the time with her. Notice that this change took place a couple of months ago. I immediately got engaged to Daniela and we decided to get married at the end of next month (Oct).
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  • 05
    Everything was going pretty well, I busy with the wedding arrangements and stuff. I got a text message from my ex wife telling me that the girls were planning to spill red wine on Daniela's wedding dress at the wedding. I was shocked. I asked how true this was and she said she heard them plan the whole thing. Moreover, my sister was in on it too and agreed to help them. I asked if she had any idea why but she did not respond. I was furious, and also very disappointed not knowing how I could even
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  • 06
    them pay as well. It felt like an awful betrayal. I didn't know what to do I decided to just ban them from coming. I confronted the four of them and they denied at first. Then, Eliza confessed but said it was intended as a "prank" and that it was Christine's idea. Christine yelled at her and denied her involvement entirely. The girls started yelling at
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  • 07
    each other then began crying when I told them they're not allowed at the wedding. Olivia said that I'd be ruining their relationship with Daniela if I don't let them attend on the most importantly day of her life. Christine promised they won't do it and suggested that I don't tell Daniela and just let them come to "preserve" the relationship and I decided to consider it.
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  • 08
    Well, Yesterday, My ex wife sent a voice message telling me the girls lied and were still going to do it and warned me to be careful. This time I blew up and told them it was over and that they were banned from the wedding and that it was non negotiable. They tried to argue, deny, and beg but I refused to hear it. I was feeling so much angry and hurt. They went to stay with their aunt after I berated her on the phone and she denied. I haven't told Daniela but my side of family knew and they
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  • 09
    oppossed my decision saying I'd turn this wedding into a joke if my girls are absent from it. My father and mother said the girls are remorseful, and promised they won't do it but i don't trust them after what happened. My parents demanded that the girls be allowed to come and said that it will negatively affect my relationship with the girls because they said the girls won't forget I stooped. them from being a part of a special event/memory. AITAH for giving them another chance to attend after
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  • 10
    PinAccomplished3452. 1d Daniela needs to re-evaluate this marriage, and you MUST tell her about this. This is NOT going to get better your older daughters are not going to - suddenly begin acting like decent people. If you love this woman (Daniela) you need to take a step back and work on your relationship with your daughters and to find out what's at the bottom of this. Moving forward with this wedding is going to exacerbate this situation Reply 2 9.8k
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  • 11
    Pac_Eddy. 1d I'm surprised that he's trying to keep this information from her. I'm sure his daughters not being at the wedding will bring questions. Almost sounds like the plot of a sitcom. Just tell her! रु भी 2.8k
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  • 12
    Cat JarmansPants ⚫ 1d • It is, as the father of a 20yo who has both a mother and a step mother, and a father and stepfather, interesting that you've not once asked (the girls, or yourself) why? What you've described is proper, deep seated loathing, and a loathing shared by all four of your children. That, on balance, is not something that they've just come up with, or one has persuaded the others of.
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  • 13
    Something has caused that. I don't give a about your wedding, so I'm not going to judge NTA/YTA - I give a that you don't seem to know your children at all, or be curious as to why they feel this way. You're just so infatuated by this woman they you've failed in your most important duty - being a father. For that, you are a massive AH. Reply 543
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    Careless Mission_783 • 22h exactly, and I think it's even more suspicious that his sister seems to also dislike his fiancee for some reason.....I could maybe see kids being stupid and making poor decisions for no good reason, but why would his sister be in on it if there's not any reason for the dislike?? 15
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  • 15
    chuckinhoutex • 1d Wow. Very astute. I was totally prepared to go in a different direction, but you are spot on. Either OP knows why and has intentionally withheld that as it's damning or OP is oblivious to his children in general. 27
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  • 16
    bellasadim • 1d It's important to communicate openly with your daughters and future wife about the situation. While it's understandable to want to shield Daniela from potential hurt, keeping her informed about the issues might help her understand your actions and the context better. It could also prevent any future surprises or misunderstandings. Reply 62 ♡
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    Resident-Staff-1218. 1d If you invite them, ban red wine from the wedding Stick to white Reply 48 ↓
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  • 18
    ElementalHelp • 1d Four children and your sister all adamantly opposed to your fiance? There's absolutely something missing from your post. Was she your affair partner? Has she treated them like garbage when you're not around? This doesn't just happen organically. Your lack of curiosity about this is astonishing. Probably a fake post. ESH ... Reply 205
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    Savings-Ad-3607 • 1d Why is his ex being so helpful if you think it was an affair? My best guess is his sister hates her and turned his kids against her. We only have the info in this post to go off of but from clues we have been given I assume there was no cheating. ... ↑ 47
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  • 20
    ElementalHelp • 1d Because she's a good parent? And allowing your daughters to plot to ruin their father's wedding is not something you let your kids do if you're a good parent? Despite what reddit would have you believe, not every woman who gets cheated on turns into a revenge factory who wields their kids as a weapon. 39
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  • 21
    kaiiifox • 1d Consider the Consequences on Your Daughters** • While your decision to ban them is understandable given their actions, it's important to consider the long-term impact on your relationship with your daughters. They may feel permanently estranged and hurt by being excluded from such an important event. It could also create a rift that affects family dynamics for years to come. Balancing your immediate concerns with the potential long-term damage to your relationship with your daughte
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  • 22
    BerryProblems • 21h How were you going to explain your daughters not coming to the wedding to the person you are marrying. She deserves to know your kids hate her. It's not fair to her to trick her. ... ← Reply Ĵ 5 3 53
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    bookreader-123 .7h There's more 100% you can't tell me they want to do this out of nowhere If shes a good woman to them and you didn't cheat why would they do this with such a determination? Things don't add up. It does baffles me that you are ok with choosing a woman over all your kids though no matter what they are trying to do. ... Reply 53
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  • 24
    big_bob_c. 1d The way you describe event, your daughters all chose to start being nice to Daniela at the same time. That indicates they discussed the issue and planned to welcome her under false pretenses. Not good. YTA. Have them at the wedding, don't have them at the reception. Tell your family that there's alcohol involved, and recent events have made it clear your daughters are not mature enough to handle adult events.
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  • 25
    Or, of course, you can figure out why they hate Daniela. You and your ex need to talk to them one at a time, grill them until you get a reason, and compare the reasons. Could be Daniela is not as nice as you think, could be that your daughters are just plain mean, could be your sister (or some other relative) hates Daniela for their own reasons and taught your daughters to do the same. ... ← Reply 15
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  • 26
    dncrmom 1d NTA instead of banning your daughters call the venue & tell them absolutely no red wine or grenadine should be served. Just have white & sparkling white wine. I would also suggest family therapy before you get married. Reply 11
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